Loosing interest in things I’ve always loved to do. My motorcycles, photography, writing, even reading and surfing the web and learning things. Like to drive and talk to my dog still but who knows how long that will last. I want to take a long trip alone, drive to the mountains and get out and look off into the distance. Maybe even to the ocean where I can see forever. Just me. No responsibility to anyone else, no schedule, just me, my ride, and the open road.
And my wine. Oh, yes. Have to have my wine. Two glasses a day, a good Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon or Pinot Noir, once in a great while, on a long day, a third glass. I don’t care as much about what I eat but I am fussy about my drinks. Coffee in the morning, wine in the evening, water the rest of the day.
I’m running out of time. Takes too long to do the simplest of things and there are way too many of them to do. And there is nothing to look forward to! I need to be free! At least one more time before it’s all over, I want to just hit the road by myself, not worry about where I am going or when I have to be back. Decide where I’m headed next when I get to a fork in the road.
If I could break free, I think I could write something, maybe nothing but a journal, but something worth reading, even if only by my kids. Me and Buster could hit the road in the motor home and do our own “Travels with Buster” book. Wouldn’t it be great! Three months on the road with my little mutt, no schedule, no bitching, no waiting for someone to crawl out of bed with the day half gone. Or watching them take two hours to get ready to go. It would be so nice!
I could take the motorhome with a rack on the back for a motor scooter with a rack on it for Buster to ride on, sell my motorcycles and invest in a nice used scooter. We wouldn’t need it very often but would be nice to have just in case.
I’m a dreamer. Never have got over it, but I’ll never get out of here until I’m so damn old I’ll only be fit for the old folks home and they’ll put Buster away. No winning, not now, too late and too many bad decisions.
It’s 0151 and I’ve been up for nearly two hours. Have to take Lori back to Tennessee this morning for her orientation at the probation office and hope to get started by 0900 but had hoped for a good nights sleep first. Nowadays, I never know whether I’ll get a good nights sleep until the middle of the night. Thankfully, sometimes I do.